A Gruesome Garden Mystery

I found the WEIRDEST THING in my garden this weekend!

 
Can you see it?  Warning: Close-ups ahead.  This is actually RATHER DISTURBING.

 
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Yes!  There is a DEAD FAERIE IN MY YARD! 

 
STUPENDOUSLY CREEPY!  Tiny humanoid skeleton in my daffodils!  Tell me this isn’t the beginning of a book!  Or a Fringe episode! 

My theory?  Too much faerie partying.

 Evidence: Tiny faerie party debris! 

Mysterious teeny glass bottles on my deck!  Also, all my lilies of the valley, which should be white, have turned pink.  CLEARLY FAERIE MEDDLING.  You know how when humans party too much, they end up streaking the quad or dying their hair green?  (Er, not that I would know.)  Wild partying faeries, on the other hand, leave cryptic messages under rocks and turn flowers into colors that they’re not supposed to be.  Everyone knows that.

So obviously the only explanation is that there was a wild faerie party in my garden and someone had too much blackberry elixir or absinthe and fell out of a tree.* 

 Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeird!

Yesterday I ran into the spy the faeries sent to scope out the damage.  He was disguised as a bug, but not very well, because he didn’t look anything like any bug I’d ever seen before.  He looked like a tiny shaving of bright orange metal.  And the most suspicious part?  It was impossible to take a photo of him!  He didn’t move the whole time I stood there with my camera, but all the shots came out blurry or INVISIBLE!  This is the best I could get:

But here you can’t tell quite how shiny he was, like a teeny scrap of an tangerine Mylar balloon.  Highly suspicious!  Clearly a faerie spy! 

So that made the week a bit more exciting(/profoundly alarming).  🙂

On the less exciting side, I had to take Sunshine to the orthopedic surgeon yesterday.  POOR SNUGGLES.  She nearly had a heart attack when she realized where we were.  She tried to throw herself under the passenger seat while she still had her seat belt on.  (Yes, of course my dog wears a seat belt in the car.  Doesn’t yours?) 

We both thought we were done with that place!  How could I DOOOOOO this to her!  My poor limping pumpkin.  Not even the fact that they were playing Meerkat Manor in the waiting room managed to cheer her up.  I was like, "But Sunshine, look!  It’s Flower!  And the meerkat babies!", and she was like, "Flower is DEAD!  The meerkat babies are DEAD!  Meerkats who limp get EATEN BY HAWKS!  This doesn’t make me feel better AT ALL!"  Which is a good point.  The vet’s office should probably think about which emotionally scarring TV shows they put on for their injured patients to watch.

And tragically, it turns out Sunshine does need the surgery again, this time on her other knee.  :-(  We really will have a bionic dog by the time this is done!  I wonder if this’ll disqualify her from winning agility competitions, like Terminators would probably be disqualified from the Olympics (I’m guessing).  But as long as she can eventually chase tennis balls again, I don’t mind how much titanium we have to put in her.

So that appointment’s in a couple of weeks, and I’m sure you’ll hear all kinds of complaining about it on Sunshine’s own blog, plus more pictures here of her looking grumpy and ridiculous.  Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

You know what cheers up me and Sunshine after a traumatizing vet visit?  Realizing that So You Think You Can Dance is coming back NEXT WEEK!  EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  This preview video literally made me cry with excitement:

I cannot WAIT.  TV has not been pleasing me lately (although the season finale of The Amazing Race was tremendously satisfying), so I’m ready for some talented craziness to give me something to look forward to every week.  🙂

And lastly, I have started going through old boxes in our basement (all trucked up to our house by my mother, who COULD NOT WAIT to get them out of her house, which I am SURE she will REGRET one day when she realizes how much she could have gotten for my old memorabilia on eBay.  AHEM AND HARRUMPH).

I’ll have much more to say about this once I sort out my treasures, but the coolest part is how much of my old writing I’ve found.  Also: realizing how much I wanted to be an author when I was a kid.  Wow.  I have vague memories of wanting to write, but from what I’ve found so far, it looks like I was desperately madly passionate about being an author all the way through elementary and middle school.  There is SO MUCH WRITING here!  None of it finished, of course.  Perhaps I’ll share some of it with you sometime, if you promise not to laugh your heads off.  ;-)  More on this soon!

*My unromantic husband has proposed an alternate theory involving the six- and eight-year-old boys who live next door and love throwing things over the fence at Sunshine.  But that doesn’t begin to explain how they could have gotten their hands on a faerie skeleton!  I ask you!

Quote of the Day:
"Why is there a tall, morally judgmental man in my imprint room?" — Topher, Dollhouse