The Heartbreaking Affair of the Sand Shovel

Hi all!

Remember last October, when I was like, OMG, you guys, we get to vote for the NEW SEVEN WONDERS OF THE WORLD!(and you were probably like: “um…yay?”) And I was all, luckily we have months and months to think about what to vote for?


Yes, the deadline is rapidly approaching! The New Seven Wonders are going to be announced on July 7, 2007 (see how easy to remember that is? What with all the 7’s? Get it?). And according to this article, Latin America and Asia are whumping our butts in the voting. The producers are hoping that there will be a final flurry of votes from the US and Europe to even things out. And I’m totally sure that the seven brilliant, discriminating people of excellent taste who read my blog are the ones to get that flurry going…don’t you think?

So go pick some wonders and vote!

It’ll make you feel all active and globally cultural. The best part is, you don’t even have to be 18 to do it. For once they’re letting kids have just as much say as anyone else (makes sense to me!). You just have to have an email address.

You may notice that they made it a little easier for us by declaring the Great Pyramids of Giza too awesome for voting on, so they get to stay as Honorary Wonders in addition to the seven we’ll pick. Whew!

I’ve decided to add Angkor Wat in Cambodia to my vote, partly because it’s inherently awesome, and partly because (drumroll…) we’re probably going there on our honeymoon! EEEEEK! That’s right: since my idea of relaxing involves climbing temples and riding elephants, right now Thailand + Angkor Wat is our leading pick for honeymoon destination. Did you know that Thailand is called the Land of Smiles? Seriously, how could we not go there after hearing that? Temples! Monkeys! Baby elephants! Night markets! Tuk-tuks! Massages! Buddhas! Whitewater rafting! Angkor Wat!

Who, Adam? Oh, I’m sure he likes elephants, too. 😉

No, really, I asked Adam what he likes to do on vacation, and his answer was, essentially, “sitting.” (I am not making that up!) So I figure he can sit: (1) in temples, (2) on elephants, (3) in tuk-tuks, (4) while whitewater rafting, etc. Right? Right.

He claims he’s very excited about this, too. And don’t worry, there will be a portion of the vacation devoted entirely to sitting on a beach in Phuket, just for him. We’ll do that for at LEAST two hours, I’m sure.

I’m not the most enthusiastic beach person, perhaps because I grew up in tropical countries and overdosed on them, or because they’re kind of sticky, or because sunscreen makes my face unhappy but sunburn makes it even MORE unhappy. Or maybe (cue tragic musical soundtrack) it’s because of the deeply emotionally scarring beach experiences in my past.

For instance, my first boyfriend broke up with me on a beach. Gasp! It’s a heartbreaking story, full of self-sacrifice and honor and sand. See, his little brother took away the shovel that my little sister was playing with (and at the time, she was actually still littler than me, which she no longer is), so when I took it from him and gave it back to her, my boyfriend was like, “geeve zat back to my brozer, or I weeell not be your boyfren enymore!”

(Oh, yeah — he was French.)

And I nobly was like, “No! Kari had it first! I will not!”

And he was all, “Zen we are OVERR! OVERRRR!”

And I was all, “Zen yes, we are! Come on, Kari, let’s see if Mom will buy us a popsicle.”

Yes, I chose loyalty to Kari over true love with a Frenchman. (Don’t worry; I remind her about this all the time.) Although, to be fair, we were maybe five years old, and it’s possible we had only been dating for about an hour — I can’t exactly remember the details, what with being five at the time, and all.

Still, I’m sure the trauma of the experience has forever associated sand shovels and heartbreak in my mind. So…maybe we’ll sit by the pool instead. In the shade. With books! I am so already planning which books I want to bring on the honeymoon. I’m thinking it might be a good time to tackle Neal Stephenson’s gigantic Baroque Trilogy. I loved his books The Diamond Age and Snow Crash, and if I’m ever going to have time to read SIX THOUSAND PAGES of story, I figure twenty hours on a plane might be it. I’m also yearning for Kate Atkinson’s newest book, One Good Turn, because she’s amazing and her books are perfect for sinking your brain into for long hours at a time.

But before I can run off to read long books and ride elephants on our honeymoon, I must (a) plan a wedding and (b) finish the manuscripts I’m working on, so I should perhaps go work on that. Or maybe go to bed, as it is four o’clock in the morning. (These are my normal hours — seriously, my goal in life is to be allowed to live my natural nocturnal lifestyle, which works best when people aren’t smashing concrete or calling to sell me things at 8am (AHEM). This is why I couldn’t have a nine to five job, unless it was 9PM to 5AM. Dude, I can’t be the only person who prefers to be awake in the middle of the night, can I? Why must we be oppressed by the tyranny of the morning people?! We’re not farmers anymore! Surely electricity was invented so some of us could work until 5am and sleep until noon. Also so we could have TV and laptops and waffles. Left to my own devices (especially when Adam isn’t here to be a magical good vegetarian influence on me), I apparently turn into a vampire…sleeping during the day, avoiding direct sunlight, and eating cheeseburgers. Mmmm…cheeseburgers.)

Don’t forget to vote for the Wonders!

Quote of the Day: "This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force." — Dorothy Parker