Hey, Alhambra: U R Kewl

Here’s what I’m learning about blogging: you have to be sort of fearless about it. I mean, you write something, put it up online for the world to read that same day, and then never get to edit it, but there it stays! to be read by anyone! and possibly used against you in a court of law! (Prosecutor: “Miss Sutherland, according to your blog, Wentworth Miller is sometimes “hot” and sometimes “HOTT”. How do you explain this discrepancy?”) Or, like, when you run for president in twenty years. (Reporter: “So, Candidate Sutherland, what do you say to those critics who point out that anyone who doesn’t love butter churning isn’t a true American?”)

It’s all very alarming, especially for someone like me who is actually very attached to the editing process. I think the way to do it is just to pretend that you are my friends who I am mass-emailing all the time, which is essentially true (hi Kari! hi Rachel! hi Bryan! hi Mom!), and ignore the whole dread of someone-from-my-past finding this and learning, for instance, that I was reading Jane Austen under the desk when I was supposed to be learning physics (hi, Mr. Thomas!) (yeah, I’d be pretty surprised if he were reading this).

And if I never get to be president because it turns out I’ve gone over the TV-watching quota for political candidates, or because of all these incriminating photos of Sunshine, well, hopefully it’ll still all be worth it.

At least for Sunshine, who considers herself to be world-famous now, which according to her means she shouldn’t have to suffer the indignity of having her teeth brushed anymore. I try to tell her that even Kristen Bell and Wentworth Miller have to brush their teeth, presumably multiple times a day, but then she points out that her favorite TV star, Courageous Little Shakespeare from Meerkat Manor, probably never has to brush his teeth, and then I point out that I’m the one holding the toothbrush and the poultry-flavored toothpaste, and then she clamps her mouth shut, which either means she can’t think of a counterpoint argument, or that she’s got her own methods of thwarting my dental intentions.

Speaking of which…here’s a picture of Sunshine expressing her feelings about teeth cleaning:

I was going to blog about Sunshine’s favorite TV show, but I’ll save that for later because an incredibly exciting vital matter has come to my attention.

Yes, at long last: someone is FINALLY going to make a decision about what the new Seven Wonders of the World are!

And that someone is US! YAY!

Check it out!: The NEW 7 Wonders!

All right, I know it makes me the biggest dork ever that I’ve actually spent time thinking about this. I’m totally that kid who memorized the seven ancient wonders, and I’ve actually been to the sites where most of them were (since now they’re all gone except for the pyramids).

Here’s me at the only ancient wonder left. Yeah, I’m like 18 in this photo (not 12, if you’re wondering).

But now a panel of experts has helpfully narrowed the list down to 21 and we get to vote on them! The final Seven Wonders of the World will be announced next July. Which technically means I have months and months to weigh this important decision, but I totally want to vote now (now! now! now!).

And I don’t even want to tell you how long I’ve been staring at the top 21 options trying to narrow it down. So much pressure! You can only vote once! And there’s too many good options!

I mean, what kind of New Yorker would I be if I didn’t vote for the Statue of Liberty, right? (Senate Congressional Hearing: “President Sutherland, your blog reveals that your vote could have been the deciding factor in giving all the new seven wonders to Asia. Doesn’t that sound like grounds for impeachment to you?”) But what’s cooler, a big green statue (which by the way is actually French) where you have to duck to peek out the tiny window at the top before getting hustled along by the mob of tourists on the stairs behind you, or a wall SO HUGE you can see it FROM SPACE?

It’s a dilemma. But I’ll tell you what I’m definitely voting for: Machu Picchu. Because it’s the coolest place ever…see?

That’s me and the famous Kari, standing in front of a mountain we totally climbed, although I should perhaps mention that the Incans kindly left us steps carved into the mountain to make it easier. Then again, when those steps are on a 90-degree incline and if you lean backwards too far you’ll fall right off the mountain, I’m not sure “easier” is really the right word.

And I’ll probably vote for the Alhambra, too, because I had a dream about it last night (before I discovered this site!) where I actually went all the way to Granada, Spain to give the Alhambra people a letter about how much I love the Alhambra, except it ended up being a text message, and also, what? Who has dreams about how much they love the Alhambra? Is the Alhambra Seven Wonders Campaign sending out subliminal dream campaign ads? If so, they should take out the frustrating text messaging and add in, say, Jake Gyllenhaal, and then I think they might be on to something.

I’d tell you what I’m not voting for, but I don’t want to get the French all mad at me (<– a clue!).

So anyway, everyone should go vote, and then we can smack talk the others (you suck, Neuschwanstein Castle!) (Colosseum, yo’ momma so fat, we could feed her to the lions for a month!) and get all up in arms together if our favorites don’t win (like, I haven’t even been to the Taj Mahal, but I know that should be on there!).

By the way, I love the descriptions you get if you click on each of the pictures—especially the part where they’re like, “In short – vote for the Colosseum, because it is now a symbol of — Joy and Suffering!” It’s really all about the punctuation in that sentence. Joy and Suffering! I love it. Machu Picchu got — Community and Dedication! The Alhambra — Dignity and Dialog! The Sydney Opera House — Abstraction and Creativity! You know they’re all jealous of the pyramids, though, because those got — Immortality and Eternity! Dude!

P.S. For the record (and the Congressional hearings), I’ll probably still vote for the Statue of Liberty, because I do love her. I mean, hey, if she doesn’t qualify as a national monument, she should at least get to be a Wonder of the World, don’t you think?